in 2004, i had a baby and was hit by post partum depression hard.
it sucked the desire to photograph right from me.
to be a mother and a photographer were my goals in life and i had acheived both, but the illness robbed me of any joy.
around the same time, i purchased the nikon d100 as my first pro digital camera, but my business was still shooting film. i was teaching myself how to use the new medium, but with the depression, i was not making great progress. because i was embarrassed and confused to be feeling the way i was (i had everything i wanted and i felt like i was losing my mind), i began browsing the internet for any information on ppd. that led to me finding flickr. it was a new site for sharing photos and it did not take me long to find a group of other families with kids the same age as my baby. i was unsure of my abilities with the digital camera, so i came up with a screen name of sesame ellis to prevent any clients from finding my possible photographic disasters. by march of 2005, i had built up the nerve to finally post a digital photo. a mediocre black and white shot of gemma…but it was a start.
i had no idea what a start it would actually be.
a start of great friendships.
a start of a recovery from post partum depressioin.
a start of a new branch of my career.
it became so much more than just a photosharing site.
four and a half years, 4,377 photographs (over 500 are private and many are friends and family), and 10,845,991 all time views of my photostream it has become a community of inspiration. a community that i do not want to leave despite having my own blog now. i felt there was room and a place for both.
i have shared the ups and downs of my life and the lives of hundreds of other people. i have helped people with my honest documentation of our struggles with secondary infertility and have been bolstered by their support in return.
i use flickr as my emergency backup of my jpegs. in case of fire, break glass. that sort of thing.
it is understandable that i developed an emotional attachment to flickr.
today for the second time in a week, my flickr account was flagged as offensive. i was warned via the email that if i did not play along, my account would be terminated. all of my photos were suddenly at risk of being deleted.
just. like. that.
as flickr has grown, i have tried to keep up with the new rules and play along. i don’t post nudes, i post my own work, i don’t steal images, i don’t bother other members, nor forget to list screenshots as screenshots. i floss and eat my vegetables. i am a rule girl.
the first time, i was not happy with the response from the flickr stream to moderate adult nudity in my stream. i don’t have adult nudity in my stream. i let it go though and uploaded a new photo. i figured it was a once off and i had slipped through the cracks. this morning i woke to the same message. my account had been flagged and my stream had been deamed not safe for public view.
i was angry. with shaking hands, i threw together a quick illustration in photoshop, uploaded it (marked it as an illustration because i am a rule girl) and i announced that i was done.
i want to quickly explain what happened after that. someone flagged my account again. i can only suppose they have some sort of grudge. i have since seen the troll side surface in the comments, so clearly they have decided to pick on me this week.
flickr made a mistake (i have the email apologizing for the mistake) and marked my account as moderate.
some of the same people i described above…the ones who have become my friends…helped spread the word right to the people who can make a difference and flickr listened. they remedied the situation and now my account is safe. safe to view and safe from the troll attacks.
i will continue to post on flickr. i am not going to lie, my experience has been tainted, but i accept the apology and i am going to trust them.
this blog is going to grow though, so keep coming back here for more photos, stories and photo tips.
because i am feeling like i need an up, i am going to start a contest. monday. make sure you come back and leave a comment on the contest post for your chance to win a copy of the photojojo book!
xo
sesame
photo info:
took the d200 out again as a point and shoot.
tamrom 17-50mm lens
iso 200
black and white and sunflare are 1/250th at f/4
bamboo shot is 1/125th at f/2.8
all shot in jpg and edited with my photoshop actions
{ 1 trackback }
{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
im so sorry about the flickr thing! ur the BEST!!
i didn't know your history about how you found flickr and what it meant to you in the early years. i have a similar emotional attachment for similar reasons…thank for sharing, as always. your take on things is pretty cool;).
there are a lot of us who found support through photography. it is a powerful medium.
SOOOO glad that they fixed it. The whole situation is just DUMB. We would be very sad if Shoshanna couldn't look at pictures of Gemma and say in her best snotty voice, "I'm five ALREADY. She's ONLY FOUR.'
Power to the people! Yay! Happy to have met you on flickr and happy that this has been sorted. Flickr has been a great source of inspiration and support to me and many friendships (real and virtual) formed. I'll be sure to stop by your blog more often. Whew! What a few days you've had. Love these shots of Gemma – feels like spring in Melbourne!
Girl, thank you for being real. I too share a VERY similar expericence. I love that you share not just the up's, but the down's. We all have storm's, but few of us want to share those with the world. I am thankful you give us what your eye captures through photography, but also what your heart captures through life. Keep it up sister! I'm glad you got the flickr problem fixed. I hope they realize what a gift you are to their flickr community!
Admire your work here and on flickr….sorry about all the trouble you have been through!
I just read you story and it breaks my heart when crap happens to nice people..I am so glad flickr got its act together and staightened thngs out.
I came upon your work several months ago and now spend most of my free time and flickr time with photo envy. I love your work and your great attitude.. I only hope my pictures are half as good as yours one day.
Thanks for sharing your heart and soul through your images….
((sesame))
We love you!
We share a lot even though I dont know you.( PPD and infertility issues) Thank you for sharing your family with us. You are a great story teller!
I am so glad to hear you aren't leaving Flickr ..but as I have said quite a few times, I would be thinking 'to hell with them' by now. You are much stronger than I ..and that's an amazing quality.
Your pictures are amazing ..and a grudge just means that someone thinks so too and can't handle the fact that not everyone is the same. Envy is a strong feeling ..it's a shame some people just don't know how to harness that correctly.
*HUGS*
Once upon a time, there was a grumpy old troll who lived under a bridge. He was so grumpy and bored with life that he decided to come out from under his bridge and try to make someone else into a grumpy old troll. He scrambled up and once he surfaced, he stomped around until one day, he spotted a beautiful princess. This princess was obviously well-loved as she was surrounded by friends and family. She loved life, she loved her children, she loved her job…she laughed, smiled, and loved. This made the grumpy old troll very angry so he plotted to make her so grumpy that she too would become a troll. The day came that he launched his plan and he waited for her to be grumpy too but what he didn't realize was that because she had the support and love of her family and friends, she could not be pulled down to his level. She would fight and be triumphant in the end. The grumpy old troll tried and tried then realized his efforts were fruitless so he went back under his dark, dingy, miserable bridge and laid in wait for his next victim. The beautiful princess lived happily ever after.
Send him back to their bridge, Rachel. You are admired by many, including myself. Big high five and big hug to you!
thank you. that made me smile.
I've loved you flickr photostream for a couple of years now, ever since my partner showed me a gorgeous shot of a toddler Gemma. I'm saddened by your experiences with Flickr. It's shame when a few nasty people ruin it for the majority. I love your new blog and I hope there will always be a home for sesame ellis on the web
I'm glad you got it all worked out, and even more glad you're not letting them win.
I love looking at your pictures! I also would be sad if you left Flickr. I've been following you, since the end of the twin pregnancy, because my daughter found you somehow. I love watching your kids grow up, since mine are just about done growing up.
Ugh. I'm so sorry to hear that. I didn't even know that COULD happen. I guess my knowledge of Flickr is limited to posting photos, posting comments and viewing Explore. There are some ugly sides to Flickr, for certain; I've recently had another mom Flickr Mail me to tell me some pervs have added my daughter's photos to their favorites, and this has been and ongoing struggle for me. It makes me be hot & cold about Flickr, and it makes me cautious. I'm glad to hear you're not giving it up altogether, because I love your photographs and the eyes you see your world through.
I am so glad this was taken care of, and sad that it went so far. You do need an up for sure! Though i think maybe cookies or a glass of wine is in order ;]. I've been a follower of your stream (and then your blog) for almost three years now. Your photography inspired me to get the courage to actually buy a camera and try flickr out. So i'll be back, trolls or no trolls. I'll even bring the monster spray, just in case ;]
I'm so glad you aren't leaving flickr!! You've been such a huge inspiration to me. I'm glad it worked out, but I am *so sorry* you had to go through that.
These photos are beautiful and I am glad I can log onto facebook still and see your new photos there for me to enjoy!
the power of photography is amazing! i too rely on flickr as a back up for many of my favorite images. after reading your story the first time (via twitter and then on flickr) i knew it had to be someone with issues messing with you. And in the computer world that we live in today, that just doesn't seem fair! I have had this happen to me before in the blog world, which is why i now host my own wordpress. Some people just have too much hate in their little world and it makes things harder on those that they pick (lucky us!) to hate.
I wish you all of the luck in getting rid of that troll once and for all, and i hope you stick with flickr – because i have grown as a (very amateur) photographer by viewing the work of great photographers like yourself!
*peace*
Michele Blue
I'm so glad this thing got resolved. I got so angry about it yesterday I wrote them an email. I didn't know if it would do anything, but I had to try. I would miss seeing your lovely photos of gemma and the twins. I have a friend that lives with me and my husband and we both love looking at them. You're kids are so great. Thanks.
When I first discovered flickr I discovered your stream. You took the most gorgeous pictures and I wished for your talent. I've followed you on flickr for a while and was so happy when you started blogging. I've slowly started pulling away from flickr because of the drama. I'd much rather read a photo blog now then deal with flickr. Pretty sad.
I'm sorry Flickr is making you so angry and keeps flagging your photostream. I have never seen one photo in your stream that has made me think it should be deemed unsafe. I hope this is the last of it.
Hi Rachel, I've been following your blog for almost a year but have only recently discovered your flickr photostream, (it took me almost a year to find enough confidence to sign up and post something on flickr). Makes me desperately sad that flagging a photostream is easy as a mouse click and yet the consequences for you (and all of us) are SO devastating.
Here's hoping that with an apology from flickr (presumably from a real person and not just a computer-generated message) will come a promise of no further action against you…EVER. Have spent countless hours soaking up inspiration from everything you share – many, many thanks x
Ohhhh, my bad! I wrote Flickr a few times saying that your photos were so awesome that I occasionally passed out, and that I found that very dangerous.
hahahahaha
I found you on flickr an you've inspired me to change my thinking in child photography. Thank you for that! I will follow your photoblog here now too!
So nice to learn how you started on flickr. So good you have come to experience so many nice and positive people through it too. Thankfully those are the majority and I'm glad flickr has done it's share in keeping the troll away. Good it has been solved.
May you keep enjoying your awesome talent!
Beautiful shots of Gemma. She has grown up so much. Cute.
Urgh! I'm so sorry about the flickr thing! I do love your pics a lot, even though I am a lurker most of the time…!
As others have said, I found your 'light-writing' and saw peaceful goodness. I was drawn to your work. You have such a sense of vision and a gift for timing that tells the story in a 'size' that we hope for. What I mean is that in your photography the moments are momentus, even if the real-life moment was ordinary to you as it passed. Just remarkable.