they are winning. the twins that is. and i am losing. they are getting so busy and most days they get along great. total buddies.
but on the days that they don’t…the days like today…well, i liken it to attending a party where 2 of your ex-boyfriends show up. they both want your attention, but you have to make sure they stay away from each other.
two things invariably happen.
1) a fight breaks out
&
2) i end up drinking too much.
so parents of multiples…how do you do it? even more to the point, how do you do it and work at home? i have the drinking part down. what else?
i have been really busy working on my project for 2010 and today was a great day, but i had to do it all in bits and pieces. important emails were sent out while i stood at the kitchen counter balancing one baby on my hip and my cold coffee just sitting there…taunting me. i admit, i played trains and dolls while my mind went over the long list of business things i need to do. i will go to bed late and get up early…
i don’t want to not be present for the babies, but i have waited a long time for what is happening behind the scenes with my photography. how do we have it all people? there has got to be a way, right.
thank god for my supportive husband. he rocks.
and gemma cause she is a great big sister.
gotta run, i hear the 80′s calling to congratulate gemma for bringing their fashion back in the 5 and under set.
and dear torrie…thank you for believing in me.
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
I think the most frustrating element of having twins is you are fighting to get a little piece of space back…space to be you..not mum.. not wife.. not anything actually. I had days I swear if hubby even touched me I wanted to scream "leave my body alone!!" I had been torn at from every angle and needed space, physical and head space.
Oh and Mums telling you that they know what its like to have twins cause they had there kids close together, in fact I had mums who told me twins were probably easier since they were at the same developmental stage so you didn't have to deal with different stages at the same time…I swear I could have really hurt someone at those moments, oh and that theory went out the window when I fell pregnant with my third when the twins were 22 months old.. so now even my insides weren't my own arrrrghhh!!
Somewhere in there I was trying to build a business..what WAS I thinking!!
So Rachel I hear ya sweetheart, I get it and all I know is you somehow survive and find the blessing in amongst it all. It is a skill to be a mother of twins, a blessed role, but a tough one.
Blessed for sure…blessed but very bloody tired.
My dear, I could have written this post verbatim. I too am wondering how to have it all (although I only have one toddler and one 5-year-old to keep separated at the party). I desperately do not want to place Lila in daycare (Parker is in Kindergarten), so for now I have a wonderful girl coming to the house 3 days per week; I can escape to Starbucks for a few hours with my laptop and Lila is well taken care of at home, surrounded by the familiar and all that she loves. But it still pains me because I feel like my photography business could really take more of an upward turn if I were to give it more time, and more love. As would my CHILDREN!!! It's such a hard spot to be in. So like you, I will go to bed late and wake early (it's 1:15am here in FL) and do it all over again tomorrow. Balance, schmalance.
I'll be watching this post with bated breath in hopes that someone reveals the secret to us both. And in the meantime, "clink"! Enjoy that Red.
wow, 1am…you DO hear me.
If there's any thing I figured out since the twins it is that I can't work from home. With two older boys and 7mo twin girls it's getting crowded. The oldest goes to school and the younger to kindergarten, but the twins at home kept my hands full. Once their mother went back to work we got help for the day time so I can try and get some work done. And I think that's where it all comes down to- we need help, we can't run a home and develop a career all at once but with some help from others we can achieve quite a lot. You've been mentioning the option of getting an assistant so maybe it's time you did. Having someone to work with is a good idea for any photographer even without twins.
you are right…i do need help. and my shooting partner is in NZ, so i think an assistant/intern is in order.
Whoever gets to work for you will be one very lucky person!
I liken it to having a pair of tornados in my house. Every day is a balancing act between getting *work* done, keeping their little brains stimulated, and trying to minimize the destruction a pair of toddlers can wreak on a house.
Good luck, you’ll find the balance!
If I did not have my 17 year old to help me with the 1, 6, 7 year olds I would pull my hair out trying to work at home! I am determined not to put any of them in day care. My 17 year old loves hanging with his brothers and sisters. He loves it even more when I pay him to do it! Even if I just need a break from the chaos that is my house he will watch them while I go to the cafe and just chill. But in turn he will do the same thing. Oh and did I mention I am a recent single mom of these 4 monsters?
I think a part time sitter in your own home is in order. Someone young that has the energy to keep up with young children.
If I did not have my 17 year old to help me with the 1, 6, 7 year olds I would pull my hair out trying to work at home! I am determined not to put any of them in day care. My 17 year old loves hanging with his brothers and sisters. He loves it even more when I pay him to do it! Even if I just need a break from the chaos that is my house he will watch them while I go to the cafe and just chill. But in turn he will do the same thing. Oh and did I mention I am a recent single mom of these 4 monsters?
You are an inspiration to me and I will continue to do whatever I can to help you.
I could have written this post when my twins were small. Bits and pieces, that's how I did it, along with lots of late nights and almost never enough sleep. If you can get someone in to help a few days a week, even if it's just for a few hours, do it — and don't feel guilty about it. Twins are wonderful, but my god, they are a lot of work!
I don't know how you get everything done that you do everyday with the twins at home. You know we have two sets of twins and it is just crazy all the time. I have always felt that between age one and two it is the most challenging since the kids are everywhere now. Hopefully next year will be a little easier. Ever since the little guys turned 2 this summer, i have felt things lighten a bit.
Have you looked into getting some help even for a few hours a couple of times a week? I found that with just a little help a few hours at a time i am really able to focus and be a more present mom. I don't feel work nagging at me because i can focus for that window of time and knock it out. More is done in a short amount of time instead of being less focused when i get it done in spurts. Hope things get a little easier!
I don't have twins….but I do have an almost 19th month old (that has the energy of two babies) and an 8 year old daughter. So I feel like I am forever cleaning, cooking, doing dishes (we do not have a dishwasher) folding laundry, playing trucks and cars, changing diapers, soothing boo boos, making sure my son does not kill himself but climbing up on the shelves during the 1.5 seconds that nobody is looking, grocery shopping (because both our kids are eating machines) walking the dog and our son, dropping off at school, picking up, helping with homework, going to birthday parties, play dates, park and so much more….so my photography has taken a back burner and I sew every chance I get. I too stay up late and get up early and sometimes I feel so lost….but then I look at my kids and I think back to the day I almost lost it when we had our daughter. I went on line and looked at a pie chart on line that showed you the small, minuscule silver of time in their lives that you as a parent will be involved and when I saw that my heart broke. Suddenly I realized that it was all going by so fast and someday not that far from now they would be all grown up and I would be longing for the days they needed me so very much. I know that sounds so very obvious but it really is what made all the difference to me. Seeing it like that on the pie chart really hit home for me….
You are doing an amazing job and your photography is amazing…hang in there…clink clink
I can't offer any advice on twins. My two kids are 2-1/2 years apart, although they did keep my busy, they weren't like twins. It does sound like a busy time trying to develop your photography stuff, while mediating with the kids, too. Probably an assistant would help.
I'll be a live in nanny
I do it now, but I would totally quit to care for your adorable three. Hahaha.
your posts are killing me… in a good way. i LOVE how Clover is leaning back over the couch in the first one and Kieran is looking at her like "WTF are you doing… looks like fun"
advice. just drink more. lol!
you are in the thick of it.
just keep on keeping on. and get some help. a little………to keep your sanity.
my twins are on the verge of 8. and they are turning into little men. so, enjoy this time. slow down. breathe them in. kiss them a lot because soon you will miss it. crazy but true.
xoxoxo.
ps – I have some bike shots comin your way.
can't wait to see them!
I struggle to cope with just one! To see you trying to juggle 3, plus hubby, kitty AND your business is a miracle to me. Everyday when I think it gets too hard, I keep saying to myself that if you can do it, I can do it. I dunno, I count my blessings that my kid is healthy but still, the tangible evidence it can be done is when I read your blog and view your flickr stream.
Someone commented on one of your piks from a while back that "guilt is a wasted emotion". Reading this was so helpful and as Mum's we need to reach out and not be caught up on thinking we can do it all. I vote for your intern option and will be SO jealous of the lucky lass/lad that will score that role. Seriously!
Heading to Oz tommorrow…. 14hr flight with VAustralia is scaring me with a 2yo… if you can do it, I can do it
Cheers 
Hang in there and keep smiling on that flight. VAustralia is fantastic!
Just surrender now…. and look forward to when they start school….
Sorry I'm not more positive but that's all I've got!
I'm only 15, but i have a younger brother and sister twins, who are 19 months, and honestly, a couple of months back i thought i was going to loose it, with the constant nappies and food and everything else that goes with twins. Plus i have a sister who is 10, and a brother who's 5 as well, so our house is CHAOTIC. I'm left with the twins a lot of the time, as my mother also runs a photography business, taking school photos for my brother's first school. I was looking around for some kind of advice for twins, and came across this flickr account, and its honestly been my saviour ever since! The best thing we can do is immerse myself with my friends and family, who come round and help as much as possible, and it works for us!
Hope everything gets better soon with them, your kids are beautiful!
x
I just found your blog and love it! My twins are 13 almost 14 months and I work from home as a photographer in LA… I have to say not a lot of work gets done during the day. Mostly I neglect my poor sad husband and work once my babies are in bed. I'm amazed that you get anything done with twins PLUS another daughter. I'm thinking of hiring help
I love reading your blogs. My daughter is 91/2 months and trying to walk. My photography business is in its infancy. But mostly I like to read about your twins because I have a twin brother, a brother 2 1/2 years older and a younger brother (5 years) and now as an adult with only 1 child I have no idea how my mum did it.
Like Bridget up above, my twins are 8 now, and they're getting so big and independent. It's just like everyone says, it goes by really fast. It just didn't feel like it when I was deep in it when they were babies. I got work done in little bits while they were down for naps (even when they didn't take naps, I made them stay there because I needed it!) while they were asleep at night. Bits and pieces here and there, and the bald fact was that I just didn't get as much work done as I was hoping to-it was never enough. It still isn't enough; they're in school now and all, but that precious school/work time flies by so quickly and then they're home with more needs- homework, gymnastics, running, piano, more homework. It changes, and they are more independent, their needs are always changing as they get older.
I'd suggest getting an assistant as well- even if it's for a few hours a few days a week, it can really make a difference in how much you can get done. It'll still be crazy, but more possible.
If anyone can pull it off, this 'having it all', you can.
You are a fantastic mom and an amazing photographer and a strong woman.
Hang in there!
*hugs*