the twins were just a faint second pink line on a cheap pregnancy test from the 2 euro shop in ireland.
NO ONE PANIC…THIS WAS TAKEN ONE NOVEMBER MORNING 2 YEARS AGO!
(again, that is an old photo…but watch, someone is going to leave a frenzied comment anyway)
that november i could never have imagined what a november 2 years in the future would look like. i was not even sure that i would really even get to have another baby…let alone twins. i wasn’t a sucker for the fairytale any longer. i had the miscarriages and negative tests to prove that it could all go wrong, very wrong, at any moment. i lived every minute of the twins’ pregnancy on the edge of my seat.
even though life now is hard and crazy and i get to complete only a quarter of what i want to do… i don’t take a minute of it for granted.
however, i never want to do it again.
we have had our fair share of babies and even if we had planned for a massive family, my heart could not take the ride now that i know not everyone gets off at the end whole.
still, i think it is a bit screwy that two years ago i was seeing doctors and having painful procedures to get pregnant with the twins, and i am now meeting with my doctor to get “fixed.”
even though we are very very certain, there is still a somber note to the acknowledgment that one is moving into the next chapter of life. especially when that was the shortest yet most lovely chapter of my book so far.
sunrise on this november morning. hanging clover’s best friends out to enjoy the melbourne breeze.
back inside. more peeks of how i start the day now…
a standing toddler’s view of my morning coffee ritual on the left
and
a boy watching the world in his backyard
what was life like for you two years ago?
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i'm really curious about the photo info on the bun.e. shot. it's gorgeous!
the bunnies were shot with my 50mm lens on the d3. iso 400 ~ 1/400s ~ f/2.2 (+1/3 ev) sun was rising in front of me through the trees.
OMG… Nah, just joking. Thought I'd pretend to be the first to say it.
What a sweet, reflective blog post. I've so enjoyed following your journey for the last couple of years. I totally intend to keep following.
Thanks
Thanksgiving Day 1988 (11-24), I got my period as normal. Sometime in December, my older daughter was created. So, it was around Christmas 21 years ago, that I was staring at a positive pregnancy test. Now at 20, she's in college and on her way to becoming a nurse. The time has just flown by. I've loved watching both of my daughters change from toddlers into intelligent young women. Her sister was born in 1992 and will graduate from high school this year. Two pregnancies was enough for me. Pretty soon (I hope, since I'm 49), the door will close forever. It is a bit sad, but I look forward to grandchildren someday. At this point I don't want to be fully responsible for a baby! Yikes.
Cute shot of a toddler looking at your coffee and love the shot of Kieran standing on the couch, looking outside!
it does go fast.
I now realise how long I've been watching your stream on Flickr, a very very long time. I remember seeing your photos of the injections eeekk. Time passes by too quickly!
2 years ago, I was very pregnant with my second child. I had just returned from Melbourne in October after living there for a year. I, too, am done with building babies and it makes me sad to close that chapter but it is for the best…
Love your photos.
Two years ago, i wasn't ten days away from my very last day of school. Two years ago i didn't have the beautiful niece i now have. Two years ago i didn't have as many friends as i have now. Two years ago i wasn't so scared of the "what's coming next?" I knew what to expect from the new year, now i don't. I have to wait until February to know what college will be like.
hang in there and enjoy all the new adventures coming your way!
Hmm 2 years ago I was getting my son organised to head off to kinder the following year, and my daughter was 2. Now this year it is my daughter who is about to head off to kinder and I will have days to myself – I am wondering what the heck i am going to do!
and in 2 years, i will be where you are…crazy.
2 years ago this week, i was finishing my first semester of nursing school. still wide eyed at the new experience and excited to be on my way to be what i want to be, but also nervous and worry about if i ever going to make it. now, i'm finishing up with the training period of my new job as an RN. i'm flying solo in a few more weeks, taking care of patients on my own. what 2 years can do to your life is amazing!
good luck, that is all very exciting!
2 years ago I was in a crazy depression, trying to have another baby will do that to you. Now I have a complete family, I still fight everyday to overcome the obstacles my blood disorder causes but am happy I don't have to fight to get preggs anymore. I mean really,who wants to fight to get pregnant; I hate being pregnant, but the baby boy I brought home was well worth all that suffering.
i am glad you are in a happier place!
Beautiful photos and love the blog! 2yrs ago Novemberish…I was actually seeing a fertility doctor as well. He kept telling me I had unexplained infertility…arrggggh!! I was seriously hoping it was something he knew of and something he could fix. Just 2 months ago, I went to inquire about IUI and was told I had fibroids (which was the reason for my infertility since they were blocking my tubes). I had an abdominal myomectomy last month to remove 8 fibroids and I'm praying that sometime next year I get a positive pregnancy test as well! I'm 34 with no children.
glad to hear they found some answers for you!
first off i could stare at your photos for hours. they're so smooth and the color is unlike anyone elses. hmmm, 2 years ago my son was 2 yrs. old and i long to have him back at that age. it seems like the older we get, that faster time flies. we've been trying to have another baby for 2 1/2 yrs. and i found out in january of 09 i was pregnant again, but sadly lost our baby in june 09. maybe this time next year i will be pregnant or maybe even have a newborn keeping me busier. that would be nice.
i am sorry to hear of your loss. it is such a hard ride. i hope that next year is THE year for your dream.
So much can happen in two years! I, too, have just realized how long I've been following your photos on Flickr. So much you've accomplished and thank you for sharing it all with us.
For me, two years ago… I was in a heavy depression and grief stricken after losing my mother suddenly. I was a new mama. My son was 8 months old. But my life took a surprsing turn, my dreams of opening my own café were starting to come true. I had just found my dream café was for sale and had started negotiations with the seller for the purchase. It was a very surreal time in my life seeing that my dream of owning my own knit café was just within my grasp. It was like there was some kind of divine intervention or something….
Fast forward to today, I'm about to become a mother again and feel that in my heart this will be my last pregnancy. With all that has happened in my life until now, I just know this is how it is supposed to be. Mama to two, love my husband, run my business and love life to the fullest facing forward.
i hope i can visit that cafe someday!
I hope so too! Bring those gorgeous kids with you to Paris! Oh, the photo ops!
I love this reply function on your blog. Must see about getting that in my comments.
2 years ago i was in las vegas. man. time sure does go by fast. such sweet pictures!
OMG OMG! you're pregnant again? I CAN'T believe it. CONGRATS! SO Happy for you!!!
kidding. was that frenzied enough?
thank you pete, i knew i could count on you. now go spread the rumor on facebook.
Two years ago our boys were starting first grade in separate classes and they are still loving the time apart now in third grade. Other than that and some minor blips nothing quite so crazy has happened since they were born. lol
and sometimes, smooth sailing is just what i am looking for!
Two years ago, I was working 60-80 hours a week, and In school 20 hours a week. Now I live 700 miles away from my hometown, and I am a stay at home mom of 5… The last few years have sure changed for me, and my family. Believe me.. I work harder now than I ever did at work
that is a lot of change!
Wow, amazing.
Sadly my two years ago story is not the happy one yours turned out to be. Nearly three years ago on June 28th, my bestfriend (my dad) passed away. It was unexpected, he was never sick. Then one day he woke up and kept telling us he was dying. Later that day he went to the ER with what appeared to be a heart attack and days later on the 27th he was coming home -better!! That night and into the wee hours of the morning we discovered he had passed away. We drug my nine year old little sister from the bed at 12:00 AM when police came to our door and hurried 40 minutes in silence only to be told by an orderly in an elevator that "He fought so hard, we tried everything we could.".
Then a whirlwind of things happened. My pap died. My aunt died. And an uncle. Then my dads brother fired us from a jointly owned personal care home for not being able to return a week after my dad died -how can one help with mentally challenged when they cant even take care of themselves?
Then his brother begged us to be the executor of my dads estate. We said no and his entire family (pap, nana, brother, & sister) disowned us. They took us to court and that is what I was doing two years go. Waiting. Wondering if this is the year we will lose our home because of my uncle. Hoping my sister has a christmas to wake up to when the time comes.
i am so very sorry to read your story, elizabeth. i really hope that the next 2 years bring you much more peace. i still miss my father deeply…more than 10 years on…
God, I am sobbing reading your story. I am so so sorry to hear that news. It cuts so deep when you lose your parent. I've lost both of mine and I have found that the worst comes out in people when it happens. They are all out for themselves, they want everything and they cant give you a break to grieve. Elizabeth, I'm so sorry ;-( I cant tell you enough that I hurt for you and will pray for you. I certainly hope that the news received was better than the stress. God is preparing us all for a storm, and will help us weather it no matter how painful it is. We all have our own but its hard wherever you are and whatever yours is.
God bless
Kym
Then: The kiddo was just a bit over 3 and finishing (and loving) her first couple of months of preschool. Oh, and we had JUST finished potty training. I was collecting survey data for my dissertation and teaching Intro Soc for the first time.
Now: The kiddo is just a bit over 5 and loving her first couple of months of kindergarten. My data are mostly collected (still have interviews to do), and I'm starting to write. I'm teaching Race & Ethnicity this semester; next semester I'm teaching Intro Soc for the fifth time. And I might soon be getting paid to blog about the teaching bit.
sounds all good!
Indeed… that was good perspective for me 'cause this semester has just been hellishly hellish with a side of crazy. Sometimes I need a big picture reality-check. :^)
two years ago, i was on my day 62 of my flickr 365 ( and it made explore – how exciting that was;)), i was back at university with an 8 year old and a 12 year old happily ensconced in activities, and a hubby working hard…we were in a comfortable, if not a little boring, place…fast forward two months and i found myself pregnant with my third child – after three miscarriages, and 8 years since my last successful pregnancy things were about to get a little crazy!! two years ago was a crazy year. seriously.
and today? baby alex is a happy, relatively healthy ( it has been a BAD fall ) 14 month old, my 8 and 12 year olds are now 10 and almost 14 and my husband is as busy as ever. and me? no more uni…but still taking pictures everyday;).
do you do the photojojo time capsule? it is fun to see what was going on a year ago through flickr!
I was living at home. I was a junior in high school. I was in drama club. Scottsdale, Arizona. 1 sister. Dad. Stepmom. Long distance relationship. Counting the days until graduation.
& now here I am, wanting those 4 simplisticly fun years back.
Let's see, two years ago today we were adjusting to life with a 4 year old and a 4 weeker. I can't believe how time has flown and now I'm hoping that in the not too distant future, I'll get to have one more positive test!
good luck, that first positive test is so thrilling! (and i say first because i always had to do at least 12 to be sure)
Beautiful, I have watched this unfold on Flickr and fell in love with the whole family ..you are amazing all of you
I was still in England and I'd just heard that my application for Australian permanent residency had been successfully submitted to DIAC. I do believe I was jumping about with joy or some such thing. One thing I can say for absolute certainty, I wasn't peeing on a stick
Two years ago Petra and I were visiting my family in LA and spending my Mom's birthday with her. I was hopeful. I was preparing myself for what would be 3 rounds of unsuccessful IVF treatments. After so many miscarriages, the doctor thought the challenge would be in "keeping" me pregnant–not getting me pregnant! 2 years on and still no 2nd baby, I'm now letting go of the dream…..at 45, my body is getting itself ready for the next chapter.
It's so lovely and heartwarming to read your story…..and see your gorgeous bubs…:)
it is always so hard to hear the stories of such struggles…thank you for sharing.
I feel a bit left out being the one of the only non-mama followers & commenters of your blog, but if children are in my future I have to say it's been really nice to (through your images) see the journey of starting a family. From what I gather from your experience, what I gather, is to expect lots of excitement, scary bits, exhausting bits, lots of FUN, obvious love and a lot of mess. Oh yeah, and, plenty of photo ops!
My mum got 'fixed' when she was in her mid thirties and never looked back. She had me & my younger brother, she closed the shop and still maintains it was something she never even second doubted once she did it. With those three, you couldn't ask for much more?
(PS – I've said this before, but it was when you announced on flickr that you were expecting the twins that I started following, yet I waited for this blog before I started commenting. I don't know if you've really got any clue as to who I am, but just thanks for letting me get to know who you are. Watching what you have excites me about my possible future).
thank you for sharing your comments…i enjoy getting to know you!
Such a beautiful post. Love the bun-e photo so much.
Two years ago I was pregnant with our second baby, working full time, enjoying our 2 1/2 year old daughter. Today, I am a stay at home mom, busy with a 4 1/2 & 1/2 year old. Life is busy but I love every minute of it.
Two years ago I was anticipating a visit from my best friend for Christmas time… He was the one I wanted to marry, the only one for me, and he was also known to drag his feet and make decisions very slowly so he knew he was making the right decision. I had NO IDEA that he would ask me to marry him during his visit – I thought marriage and all that was so far down in my future. He completely surprised me. Now, two years later I sit in our living room listening to him play around on the guitar and couldn't be happier to be his wife for the last year and three months! I've followed you on flickr since Gemma was about their age – You have a beautiful family and I'm happy for you that this is where you're life has taken you in the last two years.
that is so sweet.
Two years ago I decided to get stop taking birth control so that my hubby and I could start a family. I was a (somewhat) newly-wed who had just moved to Brooklyn (so happy to no longer live there!).
Great post, I love it!
Two years ago, my life was great! I was very eager to win my first camera!
Two years ago, I was saving for my first DSLR, my boys were 9,7 & 2.5 my husband eagerly anticipating a surfing holiday! Fast forward 2 years, I have photgraphic clients, boys – one about to start year 6, another about to embark on a gymnastics journey, and one at 4 yo kinder orientation! As for the husband, he is eagerly awating another surfing holiday – but this time we own land where we will be surfing!
sounds like a good 2 years.
I was watching my baby boy evolving into a Toddler. I was 4 months preggo with my daughter. I was also about to experience my first ever Thanksgiving away from my family. A photo from 11/19 2 years ago. http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2033/2047177235_6e...
two years ago was my first year of university. i went into fine arts and i had to deal with a lot of people (including my extended family members: aunts and uncles) thinking that fine arts is useless. it still makes me sad when i hear it, because i really don't know what i'm going to do. but i'm just going to keep working hard. i'll figure it out some day. i'm still in FArts today with a lot of new friends and the same old friends. i enjoy it very much. : D
nothing really heartwarming. but i love every moment of my life and everyone in it.
i started following you on flickr, though i don't remember why. i've never heard of flickr before until i came across one of your photos (though i don't remember which). and after that photo, i just wanted to see more of your amazing shots and learn more about photography.
that was my 2 years ago.
keep at it!
Two years ago we were just back from a family holiday (celebrating my mom and dad's anniversary) on Lanzarote with my sister, her family and my parents. I was pregnant and my dad had just heard he had cancer. Now we have a beautiful happy boy that has lots of allergies, we seldom sleep through the night and my dad passed away 2.5 weeks ago. Enough things that we wish were different but still we are very thankful for our two beautiful and happy children, whom we also had to work and wish very hard for.
i am sorry to hear about your dad…
To use the words you once wrote to me, Rachel, now "THAT is the prettiest pee stick photo I've ever seen."
Truly. I remember seeing your infertility process unfold on flickr and and feeling how badly you wanted a baby (umm, or two?). I was so happy for you when I saw those pink and blue pacifiers spring up in your stream. Congrats on two years. Amazing what a difference 730 days can make, huh?
well it WAS the prettiest pee stick photo!
ha! xoxo
By the way, two years ago I was where you were… Chris and I had just found out we were pregnant with Lila and I had that "pretty pee stick" to prove it!
Now, two years later, we have our beautiful baby girl, who delights us and exasperates us simultaneously sometimes. Such a handful, that Lila! Our lives have all changed, but for the better. I can't imagine still continuing to live our life as it was just a little over two years ago. It gets better every day. Messier, yes, but better.
Two years can change everything. And yes not everyone gets off at the end whole as we well know. They say that the two most difficult years of one's marriage are the first year and the first year with children. Having run the both of them concurrently I can say they have nothing on the first two years following the death of your spouse and I am only halfway through that period.
And speaking of starting the next phase of one's life, we are in HUMP YEAR. In just nine short years [equal to the time she has been on the planet] Beatrix will leave me for university. It just goes so damn fast.
You are still my idol.
my heart broke into tiny sharp pieces that morning as i read the email. i don't know how you parent so well after that day… you, sir, are my idol.
Two years ago I was celebrating my eldest boy's 5th birthday, and still a stay-at-home-Mum. How times change, with me working full-time as a nurse again, and my partner home with the boys.
I love that photo of that cloth nappy bottom. It takes me back in time.
Hahahaha….What a riot. So so sweet.
Two years ago I was realizing that I want to have a baby with my boyfriend. Today, despite 3 rounds of IVF (ICSI actually) we are still not parents. Hopefully 2010 will be our year.
i wish you much luck on your journey!
Thanks you.
We just found out yesterday (after I made that comment) that we are most likely going to need a sperm donor. My boyfriend wants that (he has some genetic problems that would then also affect our children, should we have some. He said yesterday that the greatest gift he could ever give his future children is not to have that genetic flaw that would also cause infertility for them). So there is a lot of grieve and thinking and talking things over and over in our house today.
good luck and any baby brings love…keep that in mind!
That is true. Thank you.
Rachel…I cried the day on my "procedure" to close that door on in my life! I was not sure if I was sad or happy…my hubby told me to get back in the car and we would go home. That is not what we did and I could not be happier…I have FOUR healthy and beautiful children! So if you are truly done with that part of your life then push forward to a new chapter…I am there and I am happy to say I AM LOVING IT!
Good luck with getting 'fixed', I hope everything goes well.
it is not the permanent kind of fixing.
Two years ago I was recovering from an emergency hysterectomy and severe anemia that had required 3 blood transfusions just to get me into that surgery. (I was still crazy anemic post-op, but at least on the road to recovery.) I still remember the hard feeling of the finality of that decision. I was pretty sure I didn't want to have another child, but knowing that it is complete is still hard.
(By the way, I was really tempted to post a whole "OMG! Are you pregnant?!?!!" comment.)
that certainly is very final and i am sure it was hard…
Two years ago to the day I was getting pregnant (or so the doc told me). So strange to think about how different life was then. And it was only two short years ago. I can't imagine life without my little girl now and at the time I had no idea what life was going to be like with her!
I love this post..and I remember the day vivdly when you posted this photo on flickr, the excitement of all of us on flickr who some knew you well and others only knew you over the internet, being so happy for you and yours. Now it's amazing to literally watch the twins and Gemma grow over the internet. I am so happy to be able to be part of following this blog. Life for me has changed a lot. I cannot even fully remember what life was like two years ago. Two years ago I was dreaming about moving on with my life, but now I am preparing to begin the year countdown until actually MOVING out and out of state. This is my big adventure I dreamed about, but now it is actually taking place in exactly a year. Thank you, rachel, for doing this blog it is so precious to read daily.
two years ago I was only a couple of days away from my 18th birthday and thought my life could finally begin (I'm from Austria, Europe)
Today, I'm a few days away from my 20th birthday, live with my boyfriend and two kitties and wish I would be 18 again.
Love the pictures…I too have realized for how long I've already been following your pictures!
I too like you two years ago got that positive pregnancy test as my baby is only 20 days younger than your twins. However I didnt know about her until nearly 4 almost 5 months along. She is my 5th pregnancy, but only 2nd live birth. I' too have had my share of miscarriages, still birth of twins at full term..oh yes full term and lost them both. that was 17 years ago however, and I am finally starting to be ok with it. I Have lost so many and when I found out about her I had just lost one months before and underwent blood transfusions for several days iron infusions twice a month painful procedures also and having a breakdown at the same time.
that is such a hard story…the journey through motherhood is a scary one.
Now my two little girls are my delight in this world, my happiness, my full joy. Sienna at 3 years of age and MaKennah at 16 months, they keep us running and yet we want 1 more. About to try 1 more time and then stop before I turn 40…Makes me really sad though to think of all I've lost to try 1 more time and maybe fail or maybe lose again, which I couldnt take. But I know the joy they have brought to my life and want that one last time, one last baby, one more precious sweet baby to love and nurture.
God Bless to all of you that have been there and felt this and have tried and lost or maybe going to that next step in life.
God Bless you!