one of the most difficult things (so far) that i am finding as the mother of twins is getting to know them as individuals. they are just “the twins”. a unit. a little band of babies.
i have no problem having a day out with just gemma…nor taking the twins for a play when gemma has other plans. however, the thought of a day with kieran and no clover or the other way around…well, that just seemed wrong for some reason.
until i was invited to visit a wacky victorian treasure with my friend, kate, and her 2 girls.
my first thought was, i will take my daughter and we will have a girl’s day out. and by daughter, i meant gemma.
isn’t that terrible? i felt like the worst mother. and then i forgave myself, made arrangements for kieran to have a fun day with his grandparents and told kate that her baby daughter, pepper, would have a play date as well. clover isn’t just a twin, she is my daughter. i know that sounds a bit obvious, but i am constantly surprised myself…parenting twins.
right there is how i am learning to be the best mother of twins (a parent to 3 separate children) that i can be.
tomorrow i am taking BOTH of my daughters for their very first girls only day with their mommy.
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and Kieran and I are going to a ……gentlemen's club.
I hope some of the pictures make it onto this blog!
i can only imagine. how fun though! girl stuff, love it. also, my little one too has the curly ducktail (i call it a baby mullet but i mean it endearingly!) with straight hair on top. so cute!
You’ve hit childhood nostaglia for me two days on a row now Rachel! I hope the devine girls love the Fairy Park. And can’t wait for kieran’s update on the gentleman’s club!
I've never heard about the fairy park. Have fun. Wave if you drive near Kensington on your way there… Let me know if it is worth a visit. I have two little 6 year olds who love fairies.
Have fun with your girls!
Oh, when my brothers were small we had the same problem, we always said the twins or the boys and they rarely got away from each other, they hade clothes looking exactly the same and though we loved them both so much we loved them as the twins. they're 12 now and like any other sibling pair, they hang out with each other every now and then but they don't share alot of friends or room and they would never wear clothes that looked the same. I don't think they ever got hurt by it in any means but it's the point of the whole thing, we all get to be individuals, they are individuals just as much as us, they just happened to be in there sharing the womb at the same time
love that you are taking your girls, baby clover, where did she go?
I was reading a study that said twins who are raised apart tend to be more alike than twins raised together. This is because the twins who grow up together usually try to be individuals, whereas there isn't that push when they are raised in different households. My point (and I do have one – shocking!) is that it's good that you're doing things with yours individually. They'll probably appreciate it in the years to come.
Sweet
oh… it makes sense… when I read "daughter" I automatically thought about Gemma.
Have a nice girl´s day you three!
As a mother to a boy… get some mommy and boy time too as I'm sure you will. A WHOLE new identity.
Its just part of life with twins. I had two singleton girls, before having my twin girls and still to this day (and they are now 6) it is rare for me to go out with just one of them, where as the older two girls I go out with one on one all the time. Don't beat yourself up for it, but good for you for taking them out….maybe I need to try that one time soon….but who to take first???
I think it's too easy to think of the twins as a unit, instead of 2 individual people. I think I'm guilty of that with my twin cousins, too! Although, now that they are grown up and married, it's easier to see them as 2 people, but as kids growing up, it was always the twins or Kristine AND Karin. It didn't help that they looked so much alike, either! LOL! I could see differences in photographs, but when they'd be standing in front of me, I didn't always know. As adults, it's easier to tell them apart, because they have their hair different ways and now Kristine's a mommy, so I'd know her family, too.
A girls' day out sounds fun! I bet he will have fun at grandma and grandpa's house, too.
thank you for sharing this life altering moment in such an honest way. i hope your girls trip is fabulous
I cannot begin to imagine the treasure trove of new difficulties that come in parenting twins, but from the outside looking in, I think you're doing a great job. Even making the effort to see your twins as individuals is so much more than so many people do. I hope your girls both love their momma-daughter date =)
have fun girls !
i never really had a girls day out until my brother got bored of doing girl things. and i htnk i want to go to fairy land too : (
have a lovely time with your TWO daughters
i have a twin sister and for years we were referred to as "the twins" which wasn't horrible, but I understand where you are coming from
Lovely photo. Have a fantastic mommy daughter day
you are a great mama. and she is such sweetness and light. have fun, and take pictures!!!
I imagine it would be quite hard with twins… making them their own person in your head even though they've been their own little person since day one. Hopefully your girls day goes wonderful, and ALL the girls (mommy's included!) have a great time. I'm sure Kieran will have a blast as well with his day away from his sisters!
OH! And, Clover looks like a little Kewpie Doll here, and so sweet but so full of mischief!
its great that your doing this. It is important to bond with your child. I just feel bad for mothers with sextuplets or octuplets. If it makes you feel horrible, it must kill them.
and hey, are you trying to distract us? Where are the birthday pictures?