*all images in this post are made with the new diana toy camera lens on my d200*
one of these is my house and if you guess wrong, you don’t know me at all.
just to help you out in case it was not completely obvious
since moving to australia, i seem to have the christmas spirit of a gnat. and that makes me sad because i used to LOVE christmas. it is really going to take me some time to embrace long, warm, sunny days leading up to the holiday where i spent my life praying for snow.
i am enjoying the summer days, i just wish they were in july where they are supposed to be.
now as a mother, i feel the need to develop at least a shred of festive enthusiasm. i have such beautiful christmas memories from childhood that i want to give to my kids. then again, maybe that is part of what is holding me back. not much could top those experiences. a giant family dinner…bundling up for the freezing cold walk down the road to my aunt and uncle’s home. early nightfall and candles in every window. singing carols with the neighbors…all the adults holding warm grownup drinks and the kids scanning the dark night sky for a red nose amongst the stars. if i was lucky, it was a clear night and there was snow on the ground to crunch underfoot.
i need to learn how to let go of my attachments to those memories. record them somehow so they are not lost and then maybe i will be free to build new ones here.
this diana toy camera lens is the photographic version of my christmas spirit dilemma. i want to let go of my ideas of what makes a perfect image and experiment…put myself in a situation where i do not have full control and can’t make things the way i normally would have them. i don’t fancy being a one trick pony. i enjoy using different lenses, various camera settings, and even artificial lighting to ensure that my work is not by rote. you will not find me repeating the same session poses under the same tree in the same park for my clients. i do crave consistency in my work though. i want to produce images that make sense together and that are nice to look at. it presents a complex problem while i try to grow as a photographer.
i decided to add this plastic lens to my d200 and just point and shoot. i set the camera to vivid and am just making jpgs. there is no editing beyond the resize ( and occasional crop) for web. it is not a greatly expensive way to step outside of the box either. if i had to buy film for my holga and have it processed, it would quickly add up to and surpass the $60.00 spent on the lens. i am terrible at committing to daily photo projects, so this is my challenge to myself. let go and create. whenever.
it may take some getting used to, but eventually a hot christmas and a blurry photo will both be things that i love.
i want to hear from you…what are you doing to grow? what challenges your convictions? comment below and show me what you are aiming to do in the new year to expand your world.
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After spending years trying to get great focus and figure out the right white balance in processing, I hit a wall last year. I had this baby at my disposal to shoot, but I just wasn't loving anything I was getting. But after meeting up with Lauren {elycerose} and Jenn Summer in July, I got inspired. I realized that, sometimes, a soft focus lends more emotion to a shot than those sharp, crisp eyes. And I embraced some presets that allowed me to play with my colors and tones to figure out what looked best, rather than searching for the right white balance. I'd been a photographer, but for the first time, I really felt like an artist.
interesting…i have a very hard time letting go of a correct white balance. it is about growing within one's own style, i think. then again, i have a whole set of new tones that i am playing with.
I think spent a lot of time trying to learn the rules and apply them (and not succeeding as often as I should) and didn't realize that I shoot best from the heart. Your shots have amazing color and light and focus and still capture emotion. I was getting too caught up in the technicalities and wasn't capturing the emotion. And then I realized, if I capture the emotion, the rest will follow.
I am also helping some friends who are interested in photography but don't that much about it. I'll give them information about the technical aspects, but it's more about sparking creativity in them and training their eye to see. I give them little assignments for them to shoot (ex. "High Up & Down Low" or "BW Only") and then we discuss the images – what works and what doesn't. Not only does it improve my eye, but inspiring others and helping them grow is a powerful motivator.
what a wonderful post
it's been a year for me..and i found it hard towards the end to always keep things consistent
i am by no means as great as some of the photogs i admire (you being one of them)
i study every image i like and find inspiring
trying to do it just like that or as close to it as possible…..then i was going through albums of old archived photos that i took those images hit home for me…they were not perfect, but they felt right they felt like me
to grow i promise to let go of "always trying to get it right" and worrying if everyone will like my images…and produce work that is refelective of me
Rachel, I continue to learn from you everyday. You're what inspired me into wanting to become a photographer. The way you capture photos is absolutely extraordinary. The stories you portray on your blog are so touching and warming to the heart.
You will always be my top inspirational photographer and I hope, maybe, to take pictures as good as you someday.
i hope that you will do that this year…do what feels right to you.
thank you so much.
Love this post. I want to be you when I grow up.
Well, considering that i spent the last 8 years away from home ( all the way down in Brazil ) to be in LA working in post production, and some time in Europe before that, plus years of stage managing and tours, I definitely appreciate the ways i see things and how i could finally learn to live with myself.
I guess being a workaholic has its own share of problems but I am happy about who I am becoming and how I see family in a very different, special way. It's funny to think how your photos affected me and how I miss all the kids I was used to take care and, maybe, actually have my own, so I thank you for sharing your life here.
Plans for next year? Not work as much as I did this year, find a great girl to be with, learn more about everything, visit your website often. Good plans to start off the year with the right foot.
Happy holidays to you and your family!
you are killing me;)
i have this lens sitting in the basement, right now ( can't be under the tree as the baby keeps unwrapping gifts and the tree…) and i can not wait to slap it on my camera and start shooting. christmas morning. should be exciting;).
why do i love this lens ( i actually have a film diana but live in the middle of nowhere and getting the film developed is a royal pain…)? i love the absolute randomness it presents…it is like a gift when you get something right…and that is just fun, plain old fashioned fun. like when i was a kid with my first cameras.
now, what am i doing to expand my world? i am not sure…having a baby last year, was a biggie…still adjusting to that expansion;). our little guy expanded the world for 4 of us – me, my husband and our two "old" kids ( 12 and 8 when he was born – 14 and 10 now and the best big siblings ever) – in ways we could not imagine. i seem to have taken a hiatus from changing the world;) – i used to be so much more able to do that,lol. so perhaps becoming connected again is a biggie for me in the new year. i have spent an awful lot of time on "us" the last year and a bit…it is time to give back. damn good question, rachel.
thank you. you inspire me.
giving back…that is high on my list as well.
happy holidays to you as well!
Summer is right on December down here lol. I guess it'll take a while for you to get used to it
But you should see the fun side of it. On Christmas you can go outside to watch the fireworks without freezing, it's like 4th of July for you i guess. lol.
i am looking for all the good sides.
That is how I teach my courses and mentor my photographers…I just
need to mentor me from time to time too.
I love your blog and always look forward to your posts. I am a child and newborn photographer, and I think in the new year, I will try and expand to adults, and maybe even weddings (scary!). I have always been shy and I think that's why I gravitate towards children, I can open up more to kids. But it's time to step out of my box! I don't have the latest and greatest equipment, by any means, and I have always been a bit self conciouse around other photographers because of this. But reading your blog, I definitely feel better about what I do have and will do my best to work with what I have. Thanks for the inspiration!
it is good to challenge yourself!
i'm adding a baby boy blue into the mix of girly-girlness around my house. i think that sits high upon what i'm doing to stir up my world at this very moment.
photographically, hobby-ish, work related? i'm just going to learn to balance it all … when there isn't much of a balance yet to begin with.
and i'm going to spoil myself rotten. because i think i finally deserve to have a little bit of what i want, too.
it all sounds like a good plan. balance is a work in progress here too.
I understand how difficult the Christmas in summertime must be for you. I'm Iceandic and I don't think I could ever spend Christmas in a hot climate. It's cold here these days but alas, still no snow in the capital (where I live).
I too, wish for white Christmas – always!
iceland is my favorite country on earth. i love it there so much. you live in a magical land. i dream of spending a christmas there.
Really? That's great!
Merry Christmas to you and your family!
(Still no snow here in the capital and since the main Christmas day here is tomorrow (on the 24th – it starts at 18:00 o'clock to be precise) I'm getting desperate … )
I have been doing a 365 day photo challenge– this blog post that I wrote near the beginning of my journey kind of sums it all up… http://adventuresofthelaundryqueen.blogspot.com/2...
off to look at your post later tonight!
I often find that I'm drawn to the imperfections of photography, -blurred parts of the photo, flares, or weird exposures. I love the lensbaby, and I think the diana converter seem great. These four photos you have here are so different from your usual work, but still really great, because they show you had fun experimenting.
In 2010 I will do the biggest leap in my 21 year old life. I got accepted to the photography course at RMIT in Melbourne, so I'll be moving away from my family in Norway to the other side of the world. And like you just described, Australia is like a different world with the opposite climate, which I'm sure is not the only difference. So yes, studying photography, giving my dream a chance is my plan for the new year.
Merry Christmas to you and your lovely family!
good luck on your upcoming adventure!
I mentioned to you in a tweet about your last post that white balance stumps me. Despite constant reading and understanding all of the technicalities, I just can't seem to nail down white balance OR exposure with any sort of consistency. I'd really like to manage that one in the next year.
However, as far as growing, I've been forcing myself to take at least one picture a day on manual even if it's of something I've taken a picture of before. I'm also using my LensBaby that I got last month and I feel like it is teaching me SO much about photography AND myself (in fact, I wrote a post about it on my blog).
Thank you for constantly inspiring me… I'm so glad I found you when I joined Flickr two and a half years ago.
im 15 and just starting photography. I am not very good, but im trying my very very best. http://www.flickr.com/photos/29789352@N07/ i also just started flickr which im loving because of very supportive friends there.
I dont understand how to get thet pictures clear and blurry when i want them to. My nikon D5000 automatically makes the photos crispy clear when I want them blurry. Say, christmas lights, I want them blurry so I can get a good bokeh. So i fix the lense to make it blurry but just as i click to take the shot, it automatically makes it clear and just normal christmas lights. And when i want them clear, they come out blurry. Its very frustrating. any solutions?
anyways love the post . marry christmas
i am not too sure…i think you will have to learn more about the whole process and then put the camera on manual so you are in control of the settings. the great thing about digital is that you can practice a lot and just delete the ones that do not work.
yes I agree on that. I just dont know how to fix the manual and stuff, so its driving me crazy. Thanks for replying
Have you been to carols by candlelight? That is a lovely part of an Australian Christmas. We also looked for sleigh lights and rudolph's nose in the sky (while floating in the pool).
I think childhood Christmas memories are so special that it is particularly hard to be elsewhere at these times.
I hope you find some joy in your family Christmases here in Australia and make some traditions and memories particular to your own family!
I can understand you Christmas dilemma. Mine is similar, although a lot smaller. I'm from Germany where the main day is Christmas Eve. Now I live in the UK and am married to a Brit, everyone focuses on Christmas Day and Christmas Eve has no relevance. This may sound minor, bit is actually still emotionally traumatic as it's just not how it 'should' be. The memories from childhood of going to an evening church service and anticipating the cold, dark evening lit by the candles on the tree is still what I am longing for for a 'perfect' christmas.
Merry Christmas to you all, in warm and cold, sunny and dark places!
Well, I do plan to work on improving my photography (expanding my personal world) and plan on working outside of the home, for the first time in 10 years(expanding my family's world), but, I would actually like to bring my family closer together next year. We have had a tough one this year, both financially & emotionally for a multitude of reasons. My boys are getting bigger: for the oldest, it will be final year of primary school, and for the youngest it will be the last year of kinder, & the last time he has his Mum at his disposal 24/7! For the boy in the middle, a new sporting challenge will begin. So, for all of us 2010 will bring lots of changes.
As for a hot Christmas, I cannot imagine it any other way, despite the fact, my sister lives in Ireland!
Thank you, Rachel, for sharing tidbits of your life, and for sharing lots of your fantasic work & skills with us!
Merry Christmas to your lovely family.
merry christmas!
merry x'mas!!! =D
i think i know how you feel about christmas. i used to feel this way when i just moved to canada 7 years ago [i was 12] (kind of the opposite with the whole seasonal thing) because where i lived before, i had always had a tropical christmas. but i lived in a big house with my whole extended family on my mom's side. moving to canada with my four people family and having christmas without my many cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents, i felt like it was not christmas at all, despite the -30degrees celcius weather and the pretty snowfall outside. it actually took me a couple of years to feel the christmas spirit again. sometimes it does take a long tme to grow ~ i think i should be more confident in the things i do. I get discouraged easily (especially in my photography and my painting) because the results of what i do rarely ever satisfies me. i always find something wrong. i think i should learn to get over that and accept that imperfections are what makes these things my own… i can say that now, but i haven't learned to accept that fully yet.
You know, Australian Christmas' can be fantastic too, in an opposite way. Maybe we don't sit inside around a cosy fire and eat warm pie, but we go to the beach and eat ice-cream instead. Maybe our feet don't get soggy from the snow that leaks inside our boots, but they get dry and dirty from running bare-foot in the backyard. Maybe we don't rug up and sing carols through the dark winter nights, but neighbourhoods gather together in the local park, everyone with a candle in hand, to sing carols through the warm summer nights (Carols by Candlelight) . Of course, as an Australian, I would always love an Aussie Christmas more than a winter one, because that's what I'm used to and where my memories lie. But, as most Australians might tell you, the idea of a white, cold, cosy, snowy, Christmas sounds truly magical as well. Sometimes, we don't even have a Summer Christmas, but a rainy cloudy one. However, the first thing we think of when we see the rain is, "That's okay. This year we can have a winter Christmas!" Just because we love our own Christmas, doesn't mean we can't appreciate and love the idea of a different kind. So maybe, while of course it will never be the same and may never live up to your memories, you still have to let yourself see the magic in Summer Christmas'. Your children will love them, your husband probably does as well, and after all, it's Christmas, and that means it's up to you to make it what you want it to be, not up to the weather. I wish you all a very, very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
P.S. Oh and I do strongly recommend attending a Carols by Candlelight, if you haven't already. They are so much fun for kids, especially at Gemma's age.
someday we will do carols by candlelight and hopefully my kids will love their aussie christmas as much as you do!
Hi Rachel – Thanks for the inspiring post. You just reminded me that I have an unused B&H gift card from last Christmas (sacrilege, I realize), and maybe I'll get the Lensbaby I've been thinking about all year. Just haven't gotten it because I don't feel like I have an adequate grasp of the basics of lighting and getting a clean exposure…hesitant to add too much to the mix. As for Christmas, I've challenged myself by inviting my friend and her husband to dinner at my house. She's an amazingly creative and talented architect, and both she and her husband are gourmet cooks and foodies who've hosted my son and two young kids so many times. I once took a darkroom class and miss working in the lab, and lately have been seeing if the chemistry of the kitchen will replace my pining for film. We shall see. Thanks for your willingness to share so much, and the very authentic vision and voice that shines through your photos and blog.
treat yourself to that lensbaby! and enjoy your kitchen experiences…merry christmas!
Merry Christmas!!!
Your photography is some of the best I've ever seen!
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Speaking of that, I found this on a website I was on and I knew it looked familiar:
http://twitter.com/RenesmeeCarlie_
Yeah, I'm a twilight fan, and I do agree that you and you kids are very beautiful
Merry X-Mas and Happy New Year!
I was curious about the whole summer Christmas thing. I thing it would be difficult to make such a large change. Plus I hear your toilets swirl the other way. Which, truly, would be the big shock.
Rachel, if it's any consolation, I was born and raised in Australia. Never seen a white Christmas, yet every Christmas that passes I whine to my husband that I want a white one…I want hot chocolate, and roaring fire, and bundled up in sweaters, and toasty warm tootsies (from the fire, not global warming lol)…If I feel this yearning so strongly, I hate to know what your yearning feels like
Hope it gets better for ya.
My new year's aim is to get to know my Nikon D90 much more, reproduce my sculpts in LE resins, and make more crafty stuff for my girls.
Happy Holidays hun xx
Rachel, I totally understand what you mean about the lost Christmas enthusiasm. I don't know if it is so much your new location as it is your nostalgia. I, too, feel that sense of loss.____We are the fortunate few. We did have perfect childhoods, eh? Christmas Pasts will always be fond memories for me too. Don't try to re-create them