Yesterday I lost my temper. I came upstairs to find the playroom floor covered in brand new crayons all snapped in half. (Ninety six of them…we counted later.) While I was steaming over what I saw as blatant destruction, I noticed the coloring all over the walls. I was supposed to be leaving for a night out in the city in less than half an hour and I still had to make their dinner and give them a bath. I was cross. Both Clover and Kieran would have been grounded if one can actually ground a three year old, but instead their favorite toys of the moment were grounded…put in a spot the twins can’t get to.
I embarked on the clean up of the graffiti and left the carnage of crayons to annoy me again at a later time.
Through tears of regret, Kieran sniffled something and I may have barked “WHAT?” in his direction. (Not my finest moment.) I went closer to where he was sitting (naughty spot) to hear what he had to say and he began with an apology. I was smug in my parenting until he followed with his explanation.
They broke the crayons so that each would have the same color.
Let us put aside for a moment that there are about 47 duplicates of each color already in the tub of crayons, my twins were just doing what they do best…taking care of each other. My smugness faded quickly into shame. And right there I apologized to him. I said I was sorry for not listening to them at first. I was sorry for not taking my time with them before going into monster mom mode. We cleaned up the mess, he agreed to ask me first before doing something like that again and in the midst of it all…one little peace sign eraser.
I wish I had not been so quick to get angry. I am working on that, but raising twins is hard sometimes…they back each other up and goad each other on. However, I also think it is important that my children see that grown-ups can make mistakes too and that when we do, we apologize.
Now as for all the “C”s written on the walls, let’s just say it will be hard for Clover to get through college since she is banned from using a pen again…ever….in her life…
Tomorrow we are going to take a little holiday. We are getting Kiki a sitter and hitting the road. I think we all need a break.
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I just died. So they can use the same colors… I mean that killed me some thousands of miles away, I can’t imagine what your stomach felt like. We’ve all been there and will be again.
<—-crying
You just made me smile after a not so great parenting moment I just had. I learned to apologize too and the way I see it is that children need to know their parents are human too.
Enjoy your trip, try to relax and enjoy the ride.
You are such a great mom. Honestly, it’s so easy to become frustrated and then they come out and do things and say things like that and it’s them teaching us. Sometimes it’s just a look on their face but I have to remind myself that I’m human too…I guess that’s why I always feel guilty if I get upset or impatient.
I have been apologizing a lot lately.
I enjoy reading your blog so much. And tonight, it was very comforting as I often feel guilty of snapping at my kids to fast sometimes. thanks for your honnesty and the share of this story. Also I wanted to ask you, I pre-ordered your book months ago and I don’t know what is the next step now to get my hands on it. Thanks! And enjoy your time off
Awwwww! I’ve had those moments too. :/ That Magic Eraser thingy by Mr. Clean gets marks off walls. If you have cheap paint (like my builder used), the paint will come right off w/ the crayon so try a small area first
Yeah…. I think maybe it is a learning point for the kids too to see you make mistakes and apologise for them.
EVERYONE learnt something that day. Don’t feel too bad. We can’t be amazing saints 24/7. Not when toddlers are involved.
great learning moment for everyone
thanks for sharing!
Awwww! My ‘baby’ is 37 years old – and I remember well, those humbling moments. I’m convinced that being able to say to my daughter, “I’m sorry – I was wrong”, did more to contribute to the amazing person she is today, than almost anything else. (And believe me!…..I was wrong plenty of times!)……
what a seriously real moment. been there. will likely be there again. luckily they love us anyways;).
breaking them to share them. your kids are awesome.
As the father of twins i can so understand this, nicely written
It is amazing how much more quickly my kids forgive me, than I seem to want to forgive them.
working on it!
Oh Rachel, I can so relate! And I lose it with just one! And yes, I always apologise if warranted. Such a good lesson for them that sometimes we just crack it! Enjoy your break.
Oh Rachel, I can so relate! And I lose it with just one! And yes, I always apologise if warranted. Such a good lesson for them that sometimes we just crack it! The sharing explanation – so gorgeous. Enjoy your break.
aw so sweet
Have so been there! You get impatient and then they say something and you melt. I would have been mad about the crayons, too. Yikes.
I apologize a lot also… sigh… part of the learning we do as parents.
what sweet babies to make sure they each had the same colors. new crayons are better than old crayons, after all. no way you could use the ones in the bucket.
I got really mad yesterday and went back to apologize. I’m working on handling my anger better so I can model handling anger well. It’s a vicious circle what she’s learning when I fly off the handle. Still, we’re human and apologizing is an opportunity for repair. Have you read “Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child” by John Gottman?
Simply lost for words…
Chuck these ones out, buy the washable crayola crayons. Tried and tested…. They come off with just a wet wipe. And leave shimmery colours on paper after drawing!
crike. that made me cry.
You wrote that you were “cross”! I love it!
Little sweethearts. I empathise – my two push my buttons and I find myself in that place so often. I do the same thing and I always apologise if I make a mistake or snap at them in anger. It is so easy to do. Hope you guys have a good break.
Very much a humbling moment (though I’d have been quick to react the way you did too).
You are a wonderful mother, and wonderful mothers make their own fair share of mistakes. The fact that he spoke up about why they did what they did speaks volumes to your parenting. He knew you’d understand, he knew that he was TRYING to do the right thing. The amount of which you love them is apparent in each and every action any one of you take. Keep up the good work!
Mr. Clean magic eraser! Works wonders! Also, might look online to see if it would work on the walls, my daughter colored her solid oak table with crayons – my husband discovered online that WD-40 would take it off. Sure enough! Wiped off clean. I wish I’d known how easily it was going to come off. I would have let her work at it a little more with her sponge and water first to help her learn how tough it is to fix.
)
Saying sorry is so hard – not just for them. I would have reacted the same way.
Sounds so much like a day in my life… I also have twins (they’re almost 2 and a half) and as much as I hate it, I can be quick to snap. Having 2 kids “ganging up” on us can be so hard. I’ve had a few of those humbling moments, but nothing so sweet as this. Nearly made me cry! Thank you for sharing such realness.
Rachel, you stopped me in my tracks, gave me goosebumps and made me ball my eyes out in 5 seconds flat. Mr K’s reasoning is so ASTOUNDINGLY sweet, innocent and so heartwarming. I can’t thank you enough for sharing this with all of us. Sometimes as parents, we need to be grounded (as in, brought back down to earth) to the most basic of feelings in order to understand something so profoundly touching. Give them twins a hug from all of your online minions please
Oh. My. Goodness. You have done so much good in sharing this story. What a gift your twins are, to each other and the world. What a gift sharing this story is – I wonder how many times I flew off the handle before listening. Sweet, sweet babies of yours. This story will be with me a.l.w.a.y.s.
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Awwww….their explanation would have stopped me in my tracks too. Easy to lose the plot when you are met with a site like that. I speak from experience with 3 boys. This post is a good reminder to listen though. Kids don’t think and behave the way we do…