She needs to be barefoot as much as possible. She does not see the disapproving stares from other mothers.
Her hair has to be down to best catch the breeze. No matter how many times people tell her she looks lovely with her hair off her face. When she lets me brush it, I am instructed to brush slowly.
Temperature has a different scale of degrees for Clover. Last night for instance, I reached in the bath to get her cloth and was struck by how cold the water felt. She did not mind at all. Blue lips and shivers at the water park while we were on vacation were the only indications from my little sensory seeker that she might need to come out and warm up for a while. “Not cold!” she screamed over her shoulder as she ran off to play some more.
She touches everything. Every. Thing. Often with her face. She is my touchy child with her hands just always there. Like a little octopus, she manages to have a body part touching me at all times. Her treasured “nunny“ has been handled with such constant love that I am mending a new hole every other evening.
For as long as I can remember, we have called her “The Rubber Ball” because she bounces back from everything. Even a tumble with skinned knees only slows her down for the time it takes to get up and keep going. Her pain tolerance is outstanding.
As I am learning things and reading about what can help Kieran, a whole world of “Ah-Ha!” and “Yes, that!” is opening up about my other two children at the same time. I don’t believe that all kids need to be labled, but it is fascinating to make these connections between how they behave and what activities can in turn, calm them down and help them focus.
I have been seeing a lot of my own “quirks” in the chapters of the many books I have been pouring over. So while I started this educational journey to help my son, it is having unexpected benefits for all of us. I am learning why I pace around the room when I am on the phone. It makes sense that I scratch my own back with a fork because nothing else will be strong enough. The fact that hearing certain sounds like someone chew makes me crazy and anxious is explained clearly. Also, I am not alone and neither are my kids. Clover feels safe and comfortable in bed with as many dolls, toys, stuffed animals as possible touching her. She needs to feel the street under her bare feet as she walks.
This isn’t about excuses for bad behavior, letting the kids run the show nor just turning a blind eye. It is about learning to parent each of these three very different children in the best way for their personalities. It is also completely fascinating.
Some of the books I have been reading are:
The Out of Sync Child
Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
I have a few more books that have come with high recommendations that I can’t wait to read. We are in the process of setting up and stocking a sensory “chill the F*** out” area for the kids in a quiet area of the house. A new shop has just opened up in my neighborhood to run classes and sell supplies to help kids adapt to the world. Attitudes are changing, but there is still a lot to be done. This is just the beginning.
Have you found great resources? Do you have a good story to tell? Please share in the comments, I would love to hear.