We are who we love.

I lost it today. To be fair, it was a three snooze alarm morning for me so I was off to a fifteen minute late start when my feet hit the bedroom floor. But I am tired. Dreadfully overwhelmed and tired and it is only Monday.  

the masks we wear Trying to wrangle three kids out of the house with packed lunch boxes, all their homework, clean teeth, shoes on their feet, jackets on their bodies, library books in their backpacks…hell, their backpacks themselves at the same time trying to brush my own hair and teeth, put the dog out, catch the cat and ensure that I was not only wearing pants, but had all the work I needed to complete this morning in my bag. I implored us not to be late because it is rude to their teachers and I had to be at the Parent Association meeting at school. I needed them to pull their weight.

We only have two house rules around here and they are 1) Don’t be a dick. and 2) Make things easier for someone else. I broke that first rule and all three of my kids broke the second. And yes, we adults say the D-word. It leaves no room for confusion.

In that moment I felt like I was the worst parent in the world. How could I love three people madly when those same three people drive me mad? Am I the only one who feels like this? I mean most of the parents at school drop off have outfits on and their hair is done. Looking around, I must be the only one who screamed at her kids this morning. How about online? They all have it together too. Lately the sanitised trend in the world of parenting bloggers is swinging back from reality writing to washing everything with an generic illusion of happily ever after, designer clothes and Pinterest perfect lunch creations…  for the sake of the children. Think of the children. It is like the Stepford Wives of my 70’s childhood growing up in the south when they were really Valley of the Dolls, smoking and drinking and spanking the kids behind closed doors.

I lost it in front of my kids because I felt too ashamed to come to my tribe online and vent. I was worried about the virtual school yard mums who are going to sit around behind computers and anonymous GOMI accounts typing in whispers and casting poorly hidden glances my way. “What happened to privacy”, they’ll say. Well, I haven’t peed alone with the bathroom door shut since 2004 so I have a very warped sense of what that word means.

That frustration exploding at home (in private) is the damaging force in my life. What I keep inside, not what I share with the world is making me a worse parent for my children. So today I am taking a stand. I will not be shamed into a lonely corner because I am sharing my story of raising my children. Mine. Not yours, mine. You might find something that resonates with you and your journey with your family and I celebrate illuminating that for you. Or you might think, “Thank god she isn’t raising my kids!” You might fear for my three when they grow up and the world knows something about them already. Something I have carefully curated just like everyone else, yet in my own way. Maybe you will be right. Obviously I do not agree because my kids are growing up in my house. I know my kids are loved like crazy, taught about the new tech frontiers and what we know right now about what it means to be online. They discuss what we don’t know too. They do not need or want your concern. We live in a really open house. My kids see me taking my Zoloft everyday because they know that anxiety and depression runs deeply through my family and they know that I love myself and them every single day to fiercely fight for a balanced life. They see me sharing part of our story online and they understand that nothing is ever the whole story. That influences the way they deal with others. They are not embarrassed, they are proud.

So this morning I was the crazy mom with mismatched socks and a tear stained face dropping her kids off just as the bell goes. My friends are the ones who come say “Are you ok?” or “I get it.” They are the ones that know and make me feel less alone. They regale me with stories of when they were even more cross than I was. They tell me the times they said “I hate XYZ.” They give my kids an extra hug and they tell them to get it together. They do the same for me. They see me behind the mask I tried to fashion for myself. They are the ones that will see me at school this afternoon before the bell rings working overtime on the class art project. And they know I will be on my knees apologising to my kids after school in a group hug at home. They offer advice on how to make it easier for my kids to get out the door in the mornings because they have been there and are open to sharing their journey too. They teach their kids compassion not disdain. They uphold my two house rules even on the days when I break them.

Then there are those who are too scared to say anything, but are feeling alone too. The ones who type “parenting sucks” or “managing a kid with SPD” into google and find my blog and send me a thank you email. The ones in the actual school yard who read my blog and bring me flowers, share a coffee telling me that I have made them cry or even just give me a hug and start talking about something else.

The others? Feel free to watch or turn away. Talk amongst yourselves, I am OK with that because while I will hear you, it will not hurt me anymore. I get it. I am not your friend. I am not your enemy either. I am just doing what I do with the deepest love for my family and getting through every single day. Go ahead and cast your judgements if it makes you feel better about your own choices. We see our own fears in what others write. The internet is a window as much as a mirror. I have found that not talking about things increases the false sense of shame surrounding normal issues. If it works for your family to make different choices…if that makes you feel safe, then I respect that for you. I am never going to ask you to change. I trust that you know what is best for your family. And I want you to keep sharing the way you share because you have your tribe who needs to hear it. Just like I have mine. That is the beauty of this medium. We help who we need to help. So just be forewarned when you drive by my glass house, we are a “naked” family.

And remember, we are made of who we love, not of who doesn’t love us back.

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  • Karen Andrews via Facebook - I love you. When I think about decisions I’ve made on my blogging and second guess myself, I think back to that Problogger when Jasmin introduced us and we talked for about half an hour about what we do. There are only a handful of other bloggers who I truly feel align with to what I want to achieve personally and artistically and you’re one of them. I just want you to know.August 3, 2015 – 1:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Magdalena - I have so many things I could write on this topic, but I think one little word sums it all up. BravoAugust 3, 2015 – 1:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Renée Bugg via Facebook - Amazing post Rachel. You’ve captured so many of my own thoughts over the past few days. xxAugust 3, 2015 – 1:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Susan Wallis via Facebook - Articulate. Sensitive. Genuine.
    I feel less alone when I read things like this. Thank you xAugust 3, 2015 – 2:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel Devine Photography / sesame ellis via Facebook - Thank you, Susan!August 3, 2015 – 2:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate - I try not to feel bad for being a real person to my children.

    There have been many days where I am not proud of how I spoke to them but now, as they are teens and beyond, I am very proud of all three of them. They are decent human beings ‘in spite’ of my slip ups, my floundering. Yay them!

    Loved your last sentence. It is perfect!August 3, 2015 – 2:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel Kemble via Facebook - I wish I could write and share as openly as you do but circumstances prevent me from doing so. You speak from and to so many hearts and lives.August 3, 2015 – 2:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly - I resonate with the openness that you speak of in your own family unit. We are the same, and it makes it more natural to share certain things online. The line is different for everyone and I love how beautifully confident with where yours is, and more importantly, WHY. xAugust 3, 2015 – 2:43 pmReplyCancel

    • sesame - Thank you for this. I really appreciate how you got me. 😉August 3, 2015 – 4:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Corinne Sherry via Facebook - Cheering not judging. Let’s say to each other “You can do this!” and “I’m here for you.” Parenting is relentless work and holding oneself or each other to impossible standards creates nothing good.

    If data brings you comfort, I love how researcher John Gottman talks about how you only have to “get it right” (emotion coaching) ~30% of the time for it to make a big difference. And by making mistakes (being human), admitting them to our children (modeling fallibility and humility), and then attempting a repair with them (putting ourselves in the less powerful role for a moment) we teach our children *far more* than by simply “being perfect.” That disingenuous bullshit would only leave them wondering why they’re flawed unlike all the perfect people.

    Carry on warrior mama!August 3, 2015 – 2:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Jane Dando via Facebook - I know you. Online and off. You are not perfect. No-one is (certainly not me!). I value honesty and no bullshit. That’s why I like you and probably why you like me (along with my fierce intellect and awesome sense of humour). If I was still in the schoolyard I would be giving you a hug in about 30 minutes. But I’m not, so XOXOXOXOXOXOX (in capitals). “We are who we love” – beautiful.August 3, 2015 – 3:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Hannah - Yay you xo Yep, I have these days too. Some weeks, it is Every Day of the Week. Some weeks, it’s all okay. But I don’t see the value in pretending either. And my friends who can tell what the morning’s been like by checking out the makeup (lack thereof) and stylish ensemble (ha)…. worth their weight in gold. But do I love my kidlets? You betcha. Great post, lovely xoAugust 3, 2015 – 3:42 pmReplyCancel

    • sesame - We all need our motley crew to hold our hands through the rough days…August 3, 2015 – 4:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Kim-Marie @ Kimba Likes - I love this very much. I love how you’ve set your life up taking your family into consideration and that you keep it real.

    You’ve managed to do this without scolding or telling anyone else that their way of living is wrong.

    Our rules are don’t be a dick and think of others. Spooky huh?August 3, 2015 – 3:42 pmReplyCancel

    • sesame - I love your house rules. Come over any time!August 3, 2015 – 4:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Hannah Halloran via Facebook - Love this post. Love it. Hugs to you, awesome lady XOAugust 3, 2015 – 3:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Danielle Andreoli via Facebook - Just so you know I think your doing an amazing job xAugust 3, 2015 – 3:46 pmReplyCancel

  • ngaire - What a wonderful blog post. Let us all focus on being the best we can be. Full Stop. And if we must focus on others, let it be to lift them higher.
    I also take medication to bring me into balance to be the best mama, wife and human I can be and am proud of the decision I made to do that x

    THIS And remember, we are made of who we love, not of who doesn’t love us back. IS AWESOME. because how people treat us speaks more about them than it does about us xoAugust 3, 2015 – 3:53 pmReplyCancel

    • sesame - Yes, let it to be to lift them up!!!!! YES!!!!! Thank you!August 3, 2015 – 4:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Barbara Keenan via Facebook - Amen, Sister!August 3, 2015 – 7:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Annette of I Give You The Verbs - This is bloody great writing, especially the window/mirror comment. I refuse to back down from just being myself online, if people don’t respond to it with a smile or a chuckle, guess what, there’s plenty of other blogs to read.
    Some people will always, always take pleasure in talking about others, making themselves feel bigger by belittling someone else, screw them.
    Rachel, I don’t know you much, but from the time I’ve spent in your company, I know this, you’re a good egg.
    Keep being you!August 3, 2015 – 7:08 pmReplyCancel

    • sesame - This means so much. Thank you.August 3, 2015 – 7:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Annette Hill via Facebook - You rocked this post.August 3, 2015 – 7:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Dale Taylor via Facebook - Loved this and absolutely what I needed to read this morning 🙂August 3, 2015 – 7:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Debs - I hear you Rachel! It’s funny because as a teacher, I always considered myself a very patient person… then I had my own kids and suddenly I felt I couldn’t call myself that anymore as I seem to lose patience all too easily with my own kids. I know I don’t always speak to them or deal with them in the way that I aspire to, (surely no mum can?) but at least I know that they know how fiercely I love them and I’m not afraid to speak with them about it, apologise and talk about ways we/I can handle things differently next time. No one is inside our houses all the time and judgement from other parents is something I can’t stand. To be honest, sometimes I get sick of apologising for enjoying making my kids a Pinterest worthy lunchbox. It seems we can’t be a either a “bad” parent or even a “good” parent without somehow threatening other people or having some sort of negative judgement thrown our way. To anyone sharing only their edited, filtered snapshots of a perfect life, good on them. I’m well aware that there’s got to more going on behind the scenes as there is with all of us. We need shared “reality” to feel “normal” and less alone and “pretty stuff” to give us something to inspire us and give us ideas we might want to work towards. It all has its place. The judgement however, doesn’t.August 3, 2015 – 7:17 pmReplyCancel

    • sesame - Maybe it is because I know you, but you are a hell of a lot more than just your Pinterest lunchbox and that whole package is real and awesome. I think that comes through in your blog. August 3, 2015 – 7:28 pmReplyCancel

      • Debs - Thanks luv. Right back at ya xxAugust 3, 2015 – 7:33 pmReplyCancel

  • erica - ?August 3, 2015 – 7:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I so resonate with this. My kids see me in all lights too and I share in all lights too. It’s just part of who I am (I say I’m a sharent – over-sharing parent) but it’s also about being authentic and helping others.

    I have major depressive disorder and have battled anxiety in the past.

    It’s hard when social media is a literal highlight reel of everyone’s lives and people are quick to judge when we step out of that perfection.

    But it’s important and I’m there with you.August 3, 2015 – 7:22 pmReplyCancel

    • sesame - And to me it is unrealistic to think that our kids will turn out be better if they are completely wiped clean of our stories online… I’m very glad to have met you Rachel.August 3, 2015 – 7:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Mel Jeffcott via Facebook - I have a blog, I am online, I yell at my kids, I lose it, and my hair is NEVER done! Life with kids is amazing, messy, wonderful, difficult, frustrating, and never ending. You do a great job, as do I, and I will have a coffee (or a wine) with you any day of the week, xxAugust 3, 2015 – 7:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Debs - PPS: ….and I know your kids in real life and they’re pretty awesome too.. so you must be doing something right. 😉August 3, 2015 – 7:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Chelsea - Isn’t this what mothers supporting mothers is all about. We cannot know EVERYTHING about each other – online or offline… as you say, it’s all curated, each of us has our own way of doing it. Even our spouses, best friends, and kids will never know EVERYTHING because we are all incredibly complex people, unique no matter how much we share… but painting only a pretty picture is not what the art of life is all about – art is about feeling and opening up and exploring new territory and letting others see into your soul. And being vulnerable and open to each other is not only about finding practical help but about CONNECTING. And that’s what the blogging world does for so many isolated mothers. Bravo to you for opening up your life and your story so others can relate to and learn from and laugh with and cry with you. It’s a personal decision – not everyone has to do it – but it takes courage, and only we can decide what is best for our own selves and our own families. This conversation reminds me of the ridiculous resting bitch face obsession these days. Why do we have to be happy all the time?!?!?!?!?! Thank you for sharing xxAugust 3, 2015 – 8:02 pmReplyCancel

    • sesame - And that real is what I choose for my kids to experience as well. Hopefully they will grow to see each post as purposeful in the grand scheme of things… As well as not giving a hoot about the naysayers. We must just keep connecting with the ones who need us.August 3, 2015 – 8:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa Beavan via Facebook - Oh Rachel, big love to you. I’ve often thought about having an anonymous blog so I can tell it like it is! Speak your truth baby. xoxoAugust 3, 2015 – 8:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Tuesday Veldhoven via Facebook - loving you more than ever just now. you have no idea how much I needed to read this tonight. thank you love. hope I get to hug you in person at pro-blogger xoxoAugust 3, 2015 – 8:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Candice - We know each other for real and it is your “real ness” I love. There is such beauty in the truth, with all its spiky unpolished facets. Sure, we can edit out the bad bits and not dwell on the stuff that sends us crazy, but if we never just let it go, that’s a far worse place to be. We are Indeed who we love, and the way we love is unique to each of us. If love was easy, perfect and simple it wouldn’t be what it is; an incredibly precious gift. XxxAugust 3, 2015 – 9:09 pmReplyCancel

    • sesame - Yes! The truth is beautiful and painful.August 3, 2015 – 9:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Catherine Quinn via Facebook - I love you Ms Devine, don’t ever change! Your honesty is so refreshing and can I tell you a secret? I lost it today too! In fact I only got changed out of my pjs after 12, or maybe 1pm. Thank heavens for kiss and go parking. I also cancelled a photography job that had been stressing me out – one where someone wanted me to do a job for free, on a weekend, as though they were doing me a favour in asking me! There are so many people in this world, unfortunately, who are takers. And there are also the gossips! My advice is to steer clear of both! Surround yourself with people who you share a simpatico of spirit, who celebrate life and it’s blessings. XxxAugust 3, 2015 – 9:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Lea - Beautiful! Thank you for sharing.August 3, 2015 – 9:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Kellie - After losing it at my 7 year old today (she seems to have turned seven and developed one almighty attitude!), you have made me feel so much less alone. Thank you!August 3, 2015 – 10:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Jules - I’m not the Stepford mom type at all.
    I get mad at myself not my son…
    Maybe since I only have 1 child it’s loads easier for me.
    He is 12 turning 13 in Nov. Mostly nonverbal legally blind still has to wear a diaper due to needing to take over 34 grams of miralax daily to not hold back and become impacted. He is delayed to the point of being at most a 2 year old level.
    The thing is He’s here because of me and I had a fibroid that brought him early and no matter what anyone says I feel completely responsible for all of his difficulties. He was born early at 23 weeks weighing only 1 pound 5 ounces was in NICE for 5 months. For the most post he is the happiest person I know but when he’s stimming in excess or melting down I get that it’s wiring stimulation and frustration but I get mad at me. He only has his issues because my fibroid brought him so early and whether it was vaccines or early birth or some where in the DNA. He came early because of me fought to be here for me and so anything that happens to make my fuse blow and get me angry it’s never at him. It’s sometimes directed at other people for sure but not to him and most always it comes back to me being mad at me.
    Please believe me this is not a judgment of anyone
    I’m not totally sure I’m not the most messed up lol
    We all handle this and cope however we can.
    As long as we can share and talk about it openly we all have a better chance to deal with another day.
    I don’t judge. Each child each family each day is different and we all do what we can.
    I love Your posts they are always helpful for me in different ways.
    JAugust 3, 2015 – 10:11 pmReplyCancel

    • sesame - Thank you so much for your open and raw response. “Me being mad at me.” Yes!August 3, 2015 – 11:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Jules - Sorry it was not *NICE*
    I got spell checked lol
    It was NICUAugust 3, 2015 – 10:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Erika Dyer Ray via Facebook - No!!! Where have I been?!

    You’ve built a tribe partly because of your honesty!
    Use us. Cause Lord knows I plan on using you.August 3, 2015 – 10:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Erika Dyer Ray via Facebook - No!!! Where have I been?!

    You’ve built a tribe partly because of your honesty!
    Use us. Cause Lord knows I plan on using you.August 3, 2015 – 10:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Laura Burke via Facebook - this post is our house every morning during the school year! we are not morning people and my kids are late almost every day. I love your honesty.August 3, 2015 – 10:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Laura Burke via Facebook - this post is our house every morning during the school year! we are not morning people and my kids are late almost every day. I love your honesty.August 3, 2015 – 10:30 pmReplyCancel

  • katepickle - Ah I can so relate… chin up, tomorrow will be better.August 3, 2015 – 11:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Michaela Moser via Facebook - This is why I love you and yours. No hiding. No shaming. Shit is hard.August 4, 2015 – 12:13 amReplyCancel

  • jennifer olson - oh. sensory processing. raising a fist in solidarity. hugs, mama. this is my day today, but without school in session. so we’re trying to avoid killing each other today. yay! fun times.August 4, 2015 – 2:45 amReplyCancel

  • Robin - I COULD NOT LOVE THIS POST ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bless you for being open, honest and REAL – with your family (which is most important) and with the internet – which is a choice, will always be a choice and not something you should feel like you have to do. But I selfishly, desperately hope that you continue because all I could think while reading this was ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO!!!! Apparently, I am a bit of a yeller by nature. Growing up playing sports, yelling was part of that and I never gave it a second thought. But when I started yelling at my kids…. not good. for either of us. So I had to make (and still have to consciously make) a decision to try very very hard not to. but sometimes I still do (like Saturday when I told my belligerent 10 year old to go take a shower and go to bed and she yelled “what do you THINK I am doing” and I yelled at her to shut up. Nice, mom. I still am traumatized by a day in Walmart when I yelled at the oldest two (maybe 4 and 6?) did they think I was made of money and could buy them anything all the time….. b/c I was tired and trying to pick up a script for antibiotic for the 1 year old’s raging ear infection only I managed to get there the minute the pharmacist went to lunch so we were going to have to wait an hour and they wanted to go pick out toys…. I really need to figure out how to move past that (4 yr ago). Anyway, all that to say that you are an awesome mom, and I am learning to lean on those that support and forget those that don’t. And you never know maybe your realness will help another “perfect” LOOKING mom feel ok enough to be vulnerable and let her real shit hang out and you can say hey me too! 🙂 love ya!August 4, 2015 – 3:36 amReplyCancel

  • Lindsay Brice via Facebook - Wow, Rachel, especially love your last line.
    How many define ourselves by who doesn’t love us back – especially those of us with NPD mothers.August 4, 2015 – 4:33 amReplyCancel

  • Gabbie Smith via Facebook - I’m mostly offline these days because, well, life really. It’s hard, messy and wonderful all at once. But you know what, it goes by too fast to give 2 hoots about people who’s opinions – and that’s all they are – will never really matter.
    I come back to your blog because you take amazing photographs, your words resonate with me and I like you – pure n simple. Keep doing you – it’s enough for those that matter. G xAugust 4, 2015 – 7:42 amReplyCancel

  • Mel Riddell - I really love this. XxAugust 4, 2015 – 8:23 amReplyCancel

  • Fi - You always articulate so bloody perfectly what most of us feel but can’t say Rachel! Brilliant post, and you are so not alone. I can’t remember a school morning (any morning) when I haven’t had to exasperatedly rush the kids out the door so we can make it to school just as the bell rings if not later. Poppy’s hair is lucky to get brushed. Luckily Gus’ doesn’t need it. Most mornings I have to forget about teeth brushing and dirty clothes often get dug out of the hamper because the kids don’t have any clean ones left.
    I worry that they are going to grow up always rushing and late because of the example I have set. But I think most of the time we get it right. Considering all the curve balls life can throw at us, we do amazing. You are an awesome mum. I read it in the words you post here all the time. Keep on being you because your kids will love you for being real. We all do 🙂August 4, 2015 – 10:14 amReplyCancel

    • sesame - Thank you, Fi. I believe my kids will love me for being real and for sharing it with the internet because they can clearly see that we are touching people… Not only am I not alone, but they are not either!August 4, 2015 – 10:16 amReplyCancel

  • Myra Romano via Facebook - Me and Roni Cotton have loved you since ’06. Big fans ???August 4, 2015 – 12:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelsey Gaithe via Facebook - “Don’t be a dick” is absolutely my new favorite house rule. Life rule.

    Some days suck more than others when you’re feeling low already… Being ashamed of it or hiding it makes it so much worse. I wish that more people would found the courage and their voice to let others know that they’re human, a person with feelings that are good and bad. And sometimes being human is a damn hard job.August 4, 2015 – 2:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Jenny Brown via Facebook - Love. ♡♡♡♡♡August 4, 2015 – 3:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Lucy Nailon via Facebook - Thanks for keeping it real Rachel. Glad to know that I’m not alone. Your post so beautifully expresses how I feel but I just can’t get the words out like you do! Big hugs xoAugust 4, 2015 – 3:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah @She Writes - I love this post. Thank you for being so open. We all lose it with our kids, but only some of us admit it. Kids need to know that we are human too. We have feelings and faults as well. I love your house rules. We might need to adopt them here.August 4, 2015 – 7:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Narelle Bailey via Facebook - Love this post Rachel. You have such a gift with words.
    You should have seen me this morning. Totally flipped out. I was apparently the meanest Mum ever for not allowing Xbox at 6am and then the kids went crazy over which breakfast bowl they were getting. Then there was the case of Master 7’s missing lunch box. I know you can sympathise. I’m surprised we got to school on time with clothes on (Ava was rocking Ben 10 socks). Everyone around me always seem to have everything sorted and I feel like I am running an endless marathon only just keeping up. I remind myself that when I feel like I am losing control it is because I care so much. Always wanting the best for my family. Thanks again for writing this post. Needed it today. You are awesome.August 4, 2015 – 8:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Narelle Bailey via Facebook - Love this post Rachel. You have such a gift with words.
    You should have seen me this morning. Totally flipped out. I was apparently the meanest Mum ever for not allowing Xbox at 6am and then the kids went crazy over which breakfast bowl they were getting. Then there was the case of Master 7’s missing lunch box. I know you can sympathise. I’m surprised we got to school on time with clothes on (Ava was rocking Ben 10 socks). Everyone around me always seem to have everything sorted and I feel like I am running an endless marathon only just keeping up. I remind myself that when I feel like I am losing control it is because I care so much. Always wanting the best for my family. Thanks again for writing this post. Needed it today. You are awesome.August 4, 2015 – 8:20 pmReplyCancel

  • caroline bowen - Refreshing and honest words Rachel.
    Sometimes being a parent sucks and that’s just the honest truth. I look at those styled school lunchbox photos and feel very sorry for those who believe that’s what parenting is all about…because it’s not.August 4, 2015 – 8:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicole Hastings via Facebook - Ugh I hate school morningsAugust 4, 2015 – 9:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Black via Facebook - That’s a beautiful, brave, articulate post Rachel. That really resonated for me. ThankyouAugust 4, 2015 – 11:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Rik Andes via Facebook - School mornings tend to bring out the worst of everyone at our house, too. I have to believe that it’s not that different in other houses. They just have longer drives in which to put themselves back together again. ? Thanks for the post, Rachel!August 5, 2015 – 1:37 amReplyCancel

  • Robyn Hutchins via Facebook - Thank you for your honesty, Rach. This was exactly me yesterday. I know I’m not alone but it’s so nice to hear someone else admit have the same rough days I do xAugust 5, 2015 – 6:34 amReplyCancel

  • Dawn Klein via Facebook - I wasn’t always patient with my kids either.August 5, 2015 – 2:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Mary-Jane Devine via Facebook - Beautifully written Rachel Devine! Didn’t you hear me yelling at kids from down the street this morning?! XxxAugust 5, 2015 – 9:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Catherine Brink-Flahaut via Facebook - ❤️ so goodAugust 9, 2015 – 3:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Catherine Brink-Flahaut via Facebook - ❤️ so goodAugust 9, 2015 – 3:40 pmReplyCancel

  • nerryna - that was awesome. Thank you.August 10, 2015 – 5:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Things They Can’t Say - […] For those mornings when we lose it and are frustrated with our kids, read We Are Who We Love […]August 21, 2015 – 11:27 pmReplyCancel